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The Oughts: A decade of bad ideas

The Oughts, the years between 2000 and 2009, are being called the Decade of Bad Ideas. And, perhaps, for good reason. We welcomed the new millennium with hope, and a rather comical fear that something we called the Y2K bug would destroy society as we had come to compute it. It didn’t. Too bad. We might have been better off.

Putting together a list of the Top 10 bad ideas of the Oughts isn’t easy. There are far too many to choose from. We saw some bad ideas get elected. And elected. Some bad ideas became national policy, and national tragedies. We also had our share of bad ideas at the regional and local levels.

This is the last paper to carry an Ought dateline. Next week’s paper is a promise of a new start, a year that ends in double digits. January 1, 2010. No more Oughts.

But, in this last Ought year, let’s look back at some of the bad ideas that made the Oughts the Decade of Bad Ideas, both here in Boca Grande and the world beyond the bridge.

10  Sarah Palin. Going into the Ought 8 election, it appeared we finally had two good candidates for the White House in Barack Obama and John McCain. Then McCain classically snatched defeat from the jaws of possible victory by “going rogue” and choosing Alaskan governor and GOP good time girl Sarah Palin as his running mate, a move that united Americans through the question “what the hell was he thinking?” Following the election, Palin’s personal life became an audition tape for the Jerry Springer Show, she penned a book that tattooed her as a professional victim and has become the spiritual leader of the “teabaggers,” a group seemingly formed as the realization began to sink in that “there’s an African-American in the White House.” Palin and her Teabagger friends appear poised to mobilize their double-wide constituency into a third party that, according to the polls, will split the Republican vote and virtually guarantee Democratic control of the White House and Congress well into the next generation. Sarah Palin. Bad idea No. 10. And rising.

9Speed bumps. With the bridge in an apparent perpetual state of collapse, somebody at the Gasparilla Island Bridge Authority conjured up the notion of installing “high tech” rubber speed bumps at each end of the span. The idea, apparently, was to force drivers to slow down to the ridiculous speed of 10 mph or face the prospect of internal injuries or transmission damage. It worked. I now have internal injuries and transmission damage. I don’t get it. We welcome visitors to the island by screwing up the front-end alignments of their cars and pickups. The 10 mph thing is supposed to extend the life of the bridge. Why? We’re tearing it down. Putting these things in is the No. 9 bad idea of the Oughts. Taking them out – now – might just be the best idea of 2010.

8 Lee County Sheriff Mike Scott. Scott in himself wasn’t all that bad of an idea. The bad idea was re-nominating (aka, re-electing) the guy with 90 percent of the vote. What were we thinking? Never, ever give a politician 90 percent of the vote unless his opponent is a ham sandwich. Since his landslide win at the polls, Scott seems determined to act in a way that makes former Lee County Sheriff John MacDougall look reasonably normal. Aside from his CNN Headline News jab at the future president of the United States, in the wake of his runaway election win Scott’s administration resembles a Girls Gone Wild video rather than a professional law enforcement agency. The guy pals around with a convicted felon, and when called out on it he shrugs and blames the News-Press. When his top man uses the election results to become a political thug, Scott fires the guy, shrugs and blames the News-Press. When another top aide bites the dust, Scott shrugs – and, yes, blames the News-Press. And while Scott seemingly spends his days fighting with folks who buy ink in 55-gallon drums, crime in Lee County continues to get worse. Ninety Percent Mike is the No. 8 bad idea of the Oughts. Next time, let’s make it 51 percent.

7 Invading Iraq. We had the Taliban, the perpetrators of the September 11, 2001 attacks, on the run in Afghanistan. So we stay and finish the job. Right? No, we invade Iraq. The reason, of course, was those Weapons of Mass Destruction Saddam was stockpiling. Still waiting on that one. Meanwhile, we sapped our military of the assets that were critically needed in Afghanistan to fight the real war. And we’re still fighting it. Iraq. The tragically No. 7 bad idea of the Oughts.

6 The Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission. What can you say about a state agency that conducts a study that shows the break-away jig is snagging tarpon, then concludes that the break-away jig isn’t snagging tarpon? It then tells a judge that it is beyond the jurisdiction of the courts because, essentially, it is a separate branch of government. Executive, legislative, judicial and FWC. The FWC is the No. 6 bad idea of the Oughts.

5 Charlotte County 911. Denise Amber Lee would still be alive today. Enough said. Charlotte 911 is the No. 5 bad idea of the Oughts.

4 The 30 mph speed limit on Gasparilla Road. Can you say speed trap? This thing has caused more accidents than it has prevented. And it’s likely illegal. Yet some of our friends want to see all of Gasparilla Road reduced to 30 mph. Yeah, right. Let’s make the entire road 45 mph before more people get killed. The Gasparilla Road speed limit is the No. 4 bad idea of the Oughts.

3 The Cambridge, Mass. landscape architect guy. He was brought to Boca Grande by the Community Panel because lord knows we don’t have enough Florida landscape architects with experience designing Florida landscapes. His landscape plan, presented to the panel, included turning Park Avenue and East Railroad Avenue into one-way streets and eliminating parking to create more parking. None of his ideas were ever adopted. The community – the people of the community, that is – took care of that. But he did cash his checks. The Cambridge, Mass. landscape architect guy is the No. 3 bad idea of the Oughts.

2 This column. I’m going to be hearing about it well into the next decade. Especially once certain folks get to the No. 1 bad idea of the Oughts. So let’s make this column the No. 2 bad idea of the Oughts.

1 Was there ever any doubt? The Boca Grande Community Planning Panel. It started off as a good idea. A group of citizens would spend a year working on a local amendment to the Lee County Comprehensive Plan, the county’s blueprint for growth. That was five years ago. The wheels soon began coming off the cart, however. Among the panel’s ideas: Closing the toll plaza when it was somehow determined that the island was “full.” The panel also discussed creating a “Ground Mounted Community Friendly Wayfinding Monument.” This prompted the late Lyman Randall, a member of the panel, to wonder whether it could simply be called “a sign.” The highlight might have come, however, when it was suggested by a panel member that driver’s licenses would be required to operate golf carts unless you were over a certain age. Then – even if your license had been revoked by the state due to blindness, incapacity or death – if you were 72 or older you would still be able to drive a golf cart on our streets. No, we’re not making this up. The Boca Grande Community Panel. The No. 1 bad idea of the Oughts.

Gary Dutery is editor of the Boca Beacon.